How can I become a better blogger?

Monday, December 12, 2016

Let it go

Dear broken heart,

I've come to terms with what I wanted it to be, will no longer be. I've hoped everyday of what could become, but the truth is its never going to be.

"How do you bring yourself to realizing that it will never be?"

It's a hard thing to realize when everything seems to be making you believe so much in your fantasy. My fantasy needs to be ended and the addiction I've had needs to come to and end.

I've loved you, and I hope you will find peace, and everything I need to let you go!

A mending heart

Saturday, December 10, 2016


Dear self,

I was told "the hurt is part of the healing", but why is the hurt magnified by twenty time more.

"Is cause it's something that hasn't been healed."

The thought of bringing up something bad from the past has never crossed my mind that I'm not over it.
So 4 years ago, I lost someone who's taught me to breathe, to live, to walk, and everything that makes me, me.

"I miss you so much"

I've never thought this would hurt me so much, and the fact that your not here makes it that much more harder. I've never felt this much pain not even after you passed.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

The problem

Dear self,

"Maybe? What if? I can't! I don't want to loose you! "

I'm deeply in love with you, but the problem is your not. The feelings I'm getting from you makes me feel that you want me too. Am I just fooling myself, and saying it could happen?

In all reality it will never be!

Friday, November 11, 2016


Dear my love,

I've simply fallen more and more in love with you. I wanted so much to kiss your lips, and ease your mind. I wanted to hold you tight, and caress your body. The more I'm with you. The more I want you.

From the moment I seen you tonight your blew so carelessly, but graceful through the wind. And your smile lite up like the Disney 4th of July fireworks.

I want you now more then ever. The feeling I have is so hopeful, and adventurous. I want to be by you more and more.

"I love you"
"And I want you for you."

A drunk lover

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

The end of the road

Dear ex-friend,

How do you simply carry on doing what you do? Why is it when things don't go your way you get mad? I thought we were best friends but I second guess that. I do take the blame for somethings, but you being selfish is not one of them.

I wondered many times if it was me who was being selfish, or being a little to over bearing. I've told myself many times I need to relax, and stop being such a bitch. For many years already my family has always telling me your using me. I just brushed them off and said,

"Everybody gets use whether we like it, or not"

Although that statement is true, I've thought we both use each other. Until one day I got frustrated, and asked myself;

"If I use you? What is it that I use you for?"

"For your company; yes"
"your money; no"
"your car; you don't have one"
"My venting buddy; yes"(only for it to be in someone else's ears) ETC.

That day we fought I found it uncool for you to laugh, and think it's okay for my car to get stolen. It's a pretty silly thing to loose a friendship about, but my car I've work really hard for. I bought my car with my own hard earned money. It's materialistic, but to have something said like that on something I've earned. It hurts me, and angers me all at the same time.

I've realized a lot of things you've done, and said should have made me realize the kind of friend you are. I've let many things go, and have overcome so much emotions. We've been friends for over ten years, and I didn't want it to end. I've realize we are living in two different worlds, and our ways of thinking have changed. I've moved my mind setting to;

"My consequences are my action."

And when I'm around you I've feel like I've taken 50 steps back to high school.

I know we will never be as close as we were, but I honestly don't know if I want us to ever be friends again.

"Aquiantance; yes"
"Friends, no"

So with all this being said,
" I wish you the best of luck in life, and hope the best for you. Fare well it's been a good run!"

A road that came to an end!


Dear my crush,

I wonder if you feel the way I feel about you. How do I make you feel the same? Is it selfish of me to ask. If it is asked, how will it change between us. The mixed signals makes me wonder even more. I need to tell you the truth.

"I've Fallin in love with you."

My hands sweat, my body shakes, and my mind starts to fantasize. That day you sang to me about my beauti, and my heart sunk. I want you now more then ever. I don't want to think about what could be a moment. I want so much of it to be the moment.

How do I tell you I love you? I don't want to loose you. I'd rather have you in my life then not. My heart wants you, My body needs you, and sometime you make me feel that you want it to.

"Is it my mind?"

"OR are you feeling the same"

I need to know, and I want to know.

I want to hold you and feel your breathe against my face. I wanna feel your heart pounding. I wanna know how soft your body is, and run my fingers through your hair. If only I could?

"I've Fallin in love with you!"

"Do you feel the same way I do?"

Your Admirer